COURTSHIP

Courtship to some may seem 'old-fashioned', 'outdated' or to others may seem a little unethical. Sometimes I get people asking if I have a boyfriend yet or if I am dating anyone. As soon as I say that I believe in Courting, they either have that face like: "What on Earth is that?" Or ask why I believe this way, and even:  "Is it you or your parents wanting you to do it?"

You see I really don't see Courtship as an obligation but only as an opportunity to keep myself pure and holy as the Lord intended. 

As He said in 1 Timothy 4:12:

-Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.    

This is MY hope, that in all I do, I set an example for Christ, even in the little things, which means relationships. Really, in the big picture, relationships aren't just a little thing! It means spending time to get to know that one person who hopefully will be the person you spend the rest of your days with! How we go about spending time with him/her, is what defines whether its dating or courting. Courting is basically just getting to know the person with the hope of marriage. Dating in my opinion, is going out with someone, then seeing if they are compatible for another date. Hoping someday it may get serious, don't get me wrong I am not judging those who date! I am just making a point of the intentions behind both courting and dating.  

Courtship is about making sure you are pure throughout the whole relationship. Which means setting up personal boundary's for physical purity as well! My personal boundaries include:

-No hand holding until engaged. 

- Side hugs until engaged.

-Absolutely NO KISSING until the special day.

-Chaperon at all times (usually family).

Now these may seem a little strict to some, but to me they insure my physical purity both for me and my future husband. I mean if you think about this, it is actually, pretty cool to think that only my Husband will kiss me, and hold my hand! 

We also believe that Courtship should wait until you are old enough to marry. Another words courtship takes some time. So you get to know what their personalities are like, their character's (both good and bad) before the possibility of marriage. 

Hand holding may not seem like a big deal to many but to me, its a very important gesture of love between two people.

Hugs, this one is very important to me believe it or not! Hugs can be used in different circumstances; to comfort, to show excitement, to show love and of course greetings. But to me, its one thing that shows a tenderness to emotion and intimacy with the giver and receiver of the hug! Which is why I personally hold this to my heart, because of the closeness it brings to people, so side hugs are important!

Then kissing is another meaningful one! Kissing is probably the BIGGEST gestures of love anyone can give. Which is exactly why I think it important to save it for the day I will say, "I do"! I also think it is something to be exited for on your wedding day, other than marrying your best friend of course!

A chaperon is also a key while courting or sometimes before. Always having someone with the couple, will hold them accountable for every action, and if they start to cross the line unintentionally the chaperon will be there to stop and keep them pure. Usually the chaperon is a sibling of the girl or the guy, as long as it is someone they both trust and know. 

I also want to point out that, having boys or girls as friends or sometimes even best friends is perfectly alright! At times, friends of the other gender is easier and better! Trust me I know! You only have to watch out for flirtation or the other person taking your motives the wrong way. And if attractions do rise, be sure to tell someone and just keep it under control, who knows maybe that friend could be someone for the future! Not saying every girl or guy friend is a possibility just keep emotions, under control.

Another aspect to consider is guarding your heart! Emotional purity is very important because the heart sometimes can be so vulnerable, it really doesn't take much to get into the heart. It is hard especially for girls, we females always have a place in our hearts that is wanting to be loved. That is when the Father's of the family step-in to love and protect, until there is a right time, and a special man to take over. 

I also want to point out that like anything, sometimes not all courtships work out. The people may not work well together, they may have a different view of God. But there is no such thing as a failed courtship, God may not want someone to work because He wanted for you to see what you liked or didn't like in someone! Or He had a lesson that we need to learn. 

One thing that is very important is that the parents are in on every decision you make concerning relationships, and that they know all about him or her. If there is a bad characteristic it is likely the parents will tell you about it, if you don't know already. It is very important that the family is apart of the relationship, sometimes your family will pick up on things you wouldn't have!  

Everyone has their own view's on Courtship, some may not approve but for me it is a conviction that God has given to me personally, as well as my parents. Purity is very important to me which is why I believe in this so much! If you save your feelings, emotions and physical contact, that will be so much more rewarding than just temporary relationships! 

I pray everyday for my future soul-mate that  He is keeping himself for me as I am keeping my heart for him. I know that this is God's plan for me and how can I ever go wrong with that? 

The Courtship Chair

I hope that those who are reading this have a better understanding of courtship and my views on relationships! 

Lord Bless,

Felecia



                             Barlow Girl-Average Girl

                                             Humorous
                         Jostie Flicks - A Single's Valentine 

Humorous

Jostie Flicks - iChaperon

          
Resources:
http://www.pinterest.com/felecia98/courtship-boy-girl-stuff/  My board on pinterest.